


Home Sweet Home

by Walkerbaby



Series: Domestic Side of Life [1]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 23:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walkerbaby/pseuds/Walkerbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's flat is uninhabitable and he has to stay with Gene. When he meets the elusive Mrs. Hunt Sam's in for a huge surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only series of stories I've ever written for Gene and Sam that aren't slash.

"Gladys," Gene called out softly as he turned the front door handle. Shifting the bottle of red wine Nelson gave him into the hand already clutching the bouquet of daisies, he pushed the door lightly with his shoulder. "Gladys honey, Daddy’s home!"

"Genie?" He heard an excited squeal from the kitchen and suddenly his arms were filled with soft feminine flesh. "What are you doing home so early?" Jerking back, green eyes stared at him anxiously. "Are you all right? Are you hurt? Genie what happened?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Gene soothed. "Just thought I’d knock off early and come spend the night with my favorite girl." He was squeezed tight again before she pushed him into the front parlor with orders to relax as she got him a beer. He could hear her now happily humming to herself in the kitchen.

Gene smiled to himself - life for the Gene Genie was good. Crime was down, City had won their last match and were well on their way to taking the cup, his young wife was happy and that meant little Gene would be very happy as well. Then there was Tyler. Gene’s smile broadened and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Oh Tyler had just put the icing on his birthday cake.

"So apparently," Gene chuckled an hour later over his glass of wine. "Apparently, there’s Tyler sound asleep on that cot of his, dreaming about puppies and kittens and then crash the whole ceiling caves in. I come in a few minutes later," Gene laughed again. "There he is standing in the middle of the room half asleep looking at where his kitchen used to be."

"What happened then?" Wide green eyes stared at him in horror. "What did he do?"

"Not much he could do," Gene chuckled. "Super called the station and said it would take a week to fix the flat so he could live in it again. Flashknickers Cartwright won’t let him stay with her so he’s sleeping in one of the empty cells and praying Phyllis won’t decide to come keep him warm."

"Gene!" Full pink lips made a perfect "O" of shock.

"What?"

"Why didn’t you invite him to stay here?"

"Stay here?" Gene laughed. "Why? We’ve got perfectly good cells sitting empty."

"We have a perfectly fine guest room!" She insisted.

"It’s Tyler!" Gene argued. "DI Sam "picky pants" Tyler! The nancy boy from Hyde!"

The bottom lip quivered. "No!" Gene insisted.

The lip quivered more this time and she sniffled. "Gladys, I am the man of this house and I’m saying that DI Tyler will NOT be staying here!"

Her hand drew back from his and she sniffled again. He could see that the lip was fully trembling now. "Gladys!" He groaned. "I’ll invite him to come back here and stay tomorrow night."

"Thank you Genie," she smiled brightly and returned her hand into his. "I just hate to think of poor DI Tyler sleeping in those damp cells."

"He’ll be fine for one night," Gene insisted. "For tonight, I"m home and Little Gene and I have missed you."

Her nose wrinkled slightly and her lower lip trembled again. "I just don’t think I could enjoy my Gene Genie knowing poor DI Tyler is locked up shivering in one of those cells."

"You’re not going to let this rest are you?" Gene sighed. Her lower lip just trembled and Gene sighed again as he stood up and went for his coat.

"I should have gone to the pub," Gene muttered to himself as he stamped out the door and toward the Cortina.


	2. Day 2

Sam looked up from the copy of Kerouac he’d found in the Lost and Found as the Guv wrenched open the cell door. "Hello Guv," Sam said with fake cheer. "Decided to come keep me company? The wife boot you out?"

"My Missus is the reason I’m here," Gene snapped. "Get your stuff. She’s insisting you stay in our guest room until your shit hole of a flat’s fixed up again."

"Really?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I’m standing here aren’t I?" Gene sighed. "Now get your stuff. My Missus wouldn’t tolerate the idea of poor DI Tyler shivering in one of the cells. Said we had a perfectly good guest room."

Sam simply raised his eyebrows further into his hairline and set about collecting the few things he’d had tucked into his cell. "What?" Gene snapped as he noticed his DI’s shoulders shaking in delight. "What’s so funny?"

"Just didn’t expect you to be the type to be browbeaten by the Missus Guv," Sam snickered.

"I wasn’t browbeaten," Gene insisted. "Besides what would you know about being married Tyler? Unless it’s how to be a wife?"

Sam didn’t respond but just let his smile grow wider and his shoulders shook harder with suppressed laughter. "What?" Gene snarled.

"Just thinking," Sam snickered. "Big tough Guv here at the station. John Wayne cleaning up the streets of Manchester. Then he goes home and he gets bossed around by the wife. She make you do the cleaning up as well Guv?" Sam teased trying to get a rise out of him.

"I was not browbeaten into coming here Tyler!" Gene argued. "And if you’re going to be like that then you can just stay in the cells."

"No, no," Sam raised his hands calmingly. "I’m not saying a word! Promise. No one will ever know that you’re here because the Missus browbeat you into it."

"She did not brow beat me!" Gene insisted as they reached the Cortina. Sam simply raised his eyebrow again in disbelief. "She cried," Gene muttered embarrassedly.

"What?" Sam tried to hide his amusement.

"She didn’t actually cry," Gene shrugged awkwardly. "She just, the lower lip started to tremble and then she just started batting her eyelashes and I could tell she was getting ready to cry and I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do when she cries."

"Tears?" Sam laughed. "The Guv brought to his knees by tears?"

"Shut it!" Gene announced. "Dorothy never used tears to get her way. Gave me a right bollocking instead when she wanted something. Gladys though, all she’s got to do is set that lower lip to trembling and I do whatever she wants."

"Dorothy?" Sam asked.

"My first wife."

"And Gladys is?"

"My second wife," Gene answered.

"What happened to Dorothy?" Sam asked cautiously.

"She found out about Gladys." Gene answered abruptly as they pulled into the drive.

Sam followed his Guv from the car and toward the neatly kept house. He had known of course that the Guv was married to his second wife and that the divorce from his first had been something of a scandal. Whispers abounded about the situation and Sam was given to believe that because of them the current Mrs. Hunt kept a low profile in what consisted of police social circles in Manchester. In fact the only people at the station who had even met the current Mrs. Hunt were Phyllis and Ray and neither of them would say anything at all except - "she’s a lovely woman and she makes the Guv happy." Sam was more than a bit curious now that he was finally meeting the scandal in all of her glory.

The door swung open under Gene’s push and Sam followed him through it and into a cozy front parlor. "Sam," Gene muttered. "Gladys. Gladys. Tyler."

Sam knew he should pick his jaw up from the floor. Knew that it was impolite to stare at the woman who’d saved him from a week inside the cells. It was just, Sam shook his head to make sure he was seeing things properly. No, he decided, he was seeing things properly. He’d just never expected the Guv to be married to someone so young.

"Tyler," Gene growled. "You forgot your manners? Or are you going to say hello to my Missus before I take you back to the cells and thump you on the head."

"Right," Sam replied. "Sorry, just still out of it from being in those cells. It’s lovely to meet you Mrs. Hunt." He stuck his hand out for her to shake. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"You’re welcome Sam," the girl smiled again. "Are you hungry? We’ve got some dinner left over."

"No, no," Sam smiled. "I grabbed a curry earlier. Thank you though."

It was all he could do, as she went in the kitchen to finish the washing up, not to crack a joke. Meanwhile his mind ran rampant with unsaid things. "Are you sure she’s safe in there by herself Guv?" He wanted to ask. "Where did you meet? When you were undercover as a crossing guard? Does her mother know she’s out so late? Isn’t it past her bedtime?" He suppressed all of them though.

He should be more open minded, Sam reminded himself. So the Guv’s wife was 20 - 25 years younger than the Guv, didn’t mean she was a bad sort. Didn’t make the Guv a sugar daddy at all. He found it was hard to push back the amused smile he could feel tugging at his lips. He was a modern man and he should be more open minded than this he reminded himself. He was a modern man and there was nothing at all wrong with this.

"Got something you want to say Tyler?" Gene snapped irritably as he stared at the television.

"Your wife," Sam said calmly. "She’s a lovely woman."

"Thank you Tyler," Gene replied and Sam couldn’t help that his shoulders shook slightly. The snarky commentary inside his brain was beginning to break him. He didn’t even see the smack to the back of his head coming and when he looked over Gene appeared completely nonplussed. Probably better if he didn’t ask.


	3. CHapter Three

Gene looked around the pub curiously. When he’d left the station at Beer O’Clock Tyler had still been working like a busy little bee over his desk. "Coming to the pub Sammy Boy?" Gene had asked bluntly.

"In a bit," he’d agreed. "Thought I’d finish up this last bit of paperwork and then I wouldn’t have to look at it Monday morning."

"Just be new paperwork there by Monday afternoon," Gene answered.

Sam had just rolled his eyes and turned back to his work. Gene had shrugged and left with Ray and Chris down to the pub. There were days he wondered if Tyler had truly been meant to be a police officer or a secretary instead. Housewife, he thought uncharitably. That’s what Sammy Boy would be best at. One day the little poofter would make some bloke a lovely wife.

Now it had been two hours and Tyler hadn’t come to the pub yet. There hadn’t been that much paperwork to finish up. If there had, Gene reasoned, he’d have actually stayed to help. He snorted into his drink. Not likely if he wanted to be honest but he would have at least offered and Tyler would have known better than to take him up on it. So where was he?

Gene shrugged into his coat gruffly, paid his tab and made his way to the door. Wouldn’t hurt to swing back by the station and make sure nothing had gone wrong. He didn’t think anything had but it never hurt to check. They’d just call him back in if he didn’t and something had gone wrong.

Once inside the station Gene could see that it was dark. No Tyler. That was interesting. Where could he be? Gene went back to the Cortina and drove the route to the pub once more, slowly, and looked for the bloody, broken carcass of his DI. No dead Tyler. No bloody, broken Tyler. Where was the man? Cartwright was in the pub so he knew Tyler wasn’t with her.

Gene turned the Cortina towards home. Maybe Tyler had decided to call it an early night. Grabbed some chips and went home to bed. It had been a lousy week and Gene could admit the idea didn’t sound to bad. Nice long sleep, little relaxation, just a good all around weekend away from the station. Too bad Tyler was staying around and ruining it.

Gene stopped then. It wasn’t as if Tyler had been a bad guest last night. Had been polite to the Missus, aside from the occasional stare - which Gene was used to whenever people met Gladys and realized that she was actually with him. This morning he’d been up early and when Gene had stumbled down to the kitchen he’d found Gladys tucked up with a cup of tea and nibbling on some toast while Tyler had cooked breakfast. He had made decent fried eggs as well, didn’t break the yolks like Gladys always did.

So where was the little gobshite? If he went home and told Gladys her new pet was missing he knew the tears wouldn’t end until she was certain "poor DI Tyler" was safe and sound. Which meant Gene was going back out tonight to look for him if Tyler didn’t show up soon. Best let Gladys know he was going to be out looking for him, Gene thought as he opened the front door.

He saw the flicker of the television in the darkened parlour and tried his best not to swear. That dirty little, Gene thought to himself. Here Gene had been prowling the streets of Manchester, looking for Tyler, and there he was in Gene’s parlour having a pajama party with Gladys. The popcorn between them hadn’t spilled, they had that going for them Gene thought. That meant they hadn’t jerked hurriedly to their current positions at opposite ends of the sofa.

"Hello Tyler, fancy meeting you here." Gene said dryly.

"Oh hey Guv," Tyler smiled. "How was the pub?"

"Short a DI. Flashknickers was worrying herself sick when you didn’t show."

"Right," Sam agreed. "I guess I’ll need to call her tomorrow and let her know I was just tired then huh?"

"What are you doing?" Gene asked as he picked up the bowl of popcorn and sat on the center cushion between them.

"Doris Day’s on telly," Gladys piped up. "Sammy came in just after it started and so he sat up to watch it with me. We made popcorn."

"Right," Gene shot a scowl at Tyler. "Doris Day’s on."

"My mum’s a big fan," Tyler broke in with a smile. "Used to watch them with her back in Hyde."

"Right," Gene agreed.

"You going to watch with us Genie?" Gladys asked as she snuggled her head into his shoulder and reached for a handful of popcorn.

"Well," Gene sighed. He hated Doris Day movies. Had watched quite a few of them when he and Gladys had first gotten together. That had been their tradeoff. One date was a girly, poofter movie like the ones Doris Day were in and the next he got to see a proper movie. A good western with gun battles that caused Gladys to curl up on his shoulder and bury her eyes into his chest. Good old Westerns.

"Oh come on Genie," Sam had dug. "Don’t you want to watch Doris with us?"

"Couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than watch Doris Day with my two favorite girls," Gene answered with his own grin and slung his arm over Gladys’ shoulder. When she snuggled in closer he couldn’t help but smile in triumph. Let Tyler be a sensitive little poofter. Gladys might have pajama parties and popcorn with him but once she was tucked up in bed with Gene, Flashknickers was still at the pub and Sammy boy was going to his guest room all alone. Sometimes it was still good to be the Guv.


	4. Chapter Four

"Gladys!" Gene shouted from the bedroom. "Where’s my scarf?"

"In the closet Genie!" a chipper voice responded from the laundry. "Where it always is."

Sam looked around from his place on the couch. Apparently the Guv was getting ready to leave for his football match. That meant it was time for him to try ringing Annie’s flat again. They’d had plans for this afternoon but so far she hadn’t returned his calls. If he couldn’t reach her he might go back to the office and look over some of the case files again, or by his flat and see how the repairs were faring. Might wander Manchester for the day, he’d done that before, just to see how things were different now. See what he could remember from his childhood.

"Date with Cartwright?" Gene asked as he strode toward the door.

"What?" Sam replied. "Oh yeah, right. We’re supposed to go out this afternoon. Enjoy the match."

"Well, remember Sammy boy be a gentleman or when Cartwright handcuffs you to the bed it won’t be nearly as good as that Joanie was."

"Right," Sam grimaced. Joanie. Best not to think about her. "I’ll be just fine Guv. Nothing to worry about. If I get out of line I’m sure she’ll call and you can smack me around a bit."

"She told you about our agreement then did she?" Gene laughed. "Nice to know we’re all on the same page." With that he left and Sam fidgeted nervously. Why hasn’t Annie called him back? Should he walk over to her place and see if she’s all right? No, he didn’t want to seem desperate, she already thought he was insane. Best if he got out though, didn’t do him any good to sit around under foot making a mess for Mrs. Hunt. Gladys, she’d insisted he call her. She had enough cleaning up to do after the Guv.

"Mrs. Hunt?" Sam called up the stairs.

"Yes Sam? Do you need something?" Her head popped around the corner of the landing and he could see she had her hair tied back in a scarf and her sleeves rolled up.

"No, no, Mrs. Hunt," Sam answered. "I just wanted to let you know I was leaving."

"Oh! Did DC Cartwright call?"

Sam shuffled his feet nervously. "No. No she hasn’t."

She stepped fully onto the landing now and looked at Sam curiously. "So why are you leaving then? Aren’t you expecting a call from her?"

"Well," Sam silently willed the floor to open up and swallow him. He was going to have to tell her what happened with Annie. No one had asked yet, had just assumed that Annie hadn’t let him stay because she was a good girl after all. A nice girl and nice girls didn’t let men just stay in their flat.

"You don’t think she’ll be calling then?" Gladys broke in suddenly. "Did you have a fight?"

"Sort of," Sam mumbled.

"So where you off to then? Going to see the match?"

"I don’t know," Sam stared intently at the rug. "Just wander I expect."

"Well why don’t we put that restless energy to good use then?" Gladys replied and Sam jerked his eyes up to look at her in shock.

"What? Gladys, I mean," he stammered. "Mrs. Hunt. I really appreciate you letting me stay here and all but the Guv has been good to me. Really, really good to me."

"What are you talking about?" She cut in and placed a hand on her hip. "I was suggesting you come down to the market with me and carry the bags back once I was done. If you’d like we can get some lunch as well - we’re out of bread for sandwiches anyway."

"The market?" Sam repeated.

"Yes, where you buy the food from. The market? Don’t you have markets in Hyde? Butcher that sort of thing? Saturdays are when I go to the market."

"Right," Sam answered. "The market. Yes, to buy food. So that you can cook food. Of course the market."

"It’s good to see we’re clear on the concept then." She smiled. "So feel like carrying the shopping for me?"

"Of course Gladys. Anything I can do to help around the house."

"Right," she smiled. "I guess you don’t mind driving the Cortina then? I hate driving it myself."

"Drive the Cortina?" Sam repeated. "You want me to drive the Cortina? As in the Guv’s Cortina?"

"That would be the Cortina I was referring to yes." She answered. "That Cortina."

"I’d love to," Sam replied with a smile. A chance to drive the Guv’s Cortina? Who wouldn’t take her up on that?

"So," Gladys asked two hours later as she was sipping her tea and waiting for their lunch. "Want to talk about what happened with DC Cartwright?"

"I don’t," Sam stammered.

"I’ve got brothers Sam," she smiled. "Nothing you say is going to be any stranger than what I’ve already heard. Besides, I’m a woman, DC Cartwright’s a woman. Tell me what you did and I might know a way for you to salvage it."

Sam thought about it for a few seconds and decided why not. What could it hurt to get a feminine perspective on his problems with Annie? She certainly was a mystery to him after all. Nothing like women in 2006. Nothing like Maya. He wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing though. He had been having serious problems with Maya before the accident. Enough problems that he had been trying to sort out exactly how to split with her without destroying either if not both of their careers in the process.

"I don’t know what she wants," Sam said abruptly. "Annie, I mean. I have no idea what she wants most of the time. She runs hot and then she runs cold. Take me to a movie Sam, take me to see Roxy Music Sam. Then bam! It’s cold shoulders and we’re back to DI Tyler and DC Cartwright again. Take me to a movie and buy me dinner afterwards Sam. Put your arm around me and walk me to the door Sam but don’t try to kiss me good night. Don’t even suggest coming in for a drink or I’ll turn so cold you’ll be shivering around me for the next week when I’ll want you to take me out again so we can repeat the whole process over."

"You didn’t tell her this did you?" Gladys raised an eyebrow over her teacup. "I can’t imagine she took that well."

"No," Sam buried his head in his hands then and tugged at his hair. "No, I don’t know what she’s upset about now."

"Well tell me what happened."

"You know my flat got damaged?" Sam asked and then laughed. "Not damaged. Destroyed. You can’t damage my flat it’s beyond redemption anyway. But the roof caved in over the kitchen. So I say something to Annie. She’s sympathetic and asks how long until I can move back in. I tell her it’s about a week. She invites me to stay at her place."

"She invited you to stay with her?" Gladys looked at him appraisingly. "So why are you in my guest room?"

" I agreed. Reassured her that I’d sleep on the couch. Perfect gentleman like she always wants right? Then she gets upset and tells me that if that’s what I think of her I can just sleep in one of the Guv’s cells then."

"Have you talked to her about it since?" Gladys giggled.

"No," Sam tugged at his hair again. "She’s avoiding me."

"Poor Sam," Gladys chuckled. "She’s been playing hard to get so long you didn’t get the memo that she was finally going to let you catch her!"

"What do I do?" Sam asked.

"Let her stew for a few days. Eventually she’ll realize you were trying to be a good bloke and she’ll appreciate you for it. Might not hurt if you weren’t so available though.Let her think she’s missing something."

"I don’t want to play games with Annie," Sam insisted. "I want us to have an honest relationship."

"That would be wonderful," Gladys agreed. "Think you’ll ever get past her playing games with you then? Or you think she’ll just keep playing to get her way?"

"I don’t know," Sam stabbed at the chicken that was set in front of him with his fork. "What do you think?"

"I think there’s no harm in subtly reminding her that you’re still a desirable man. Let her know that you can find someone else if she’s not going to be a grown up and play right."

"Right," Sam agreed. "Just one problem. There’s nobody else."

"Men," Gladys smiled. "You don’t need anyone else. Just, just don’t be quite so available and eager every time she bats her eyelashes at you. Turn her down a few times. That sort of thing."

"Hard to get?" Sam repeated.

"Exactly," Gladys agreed. "Hard to get. For once DI Tyler you let someone else chase you. Hard for coppers I know, but you’ll get the hang of it."

"Is that what you did with the Guv then? Played hard to get?"

"No," Gladys smiled fondly as she took a bite of her sandwich. "You don’t play hard to get with Gene Hunt. He doesn’t allow it."

"So how’d you two meet then?"

"My nursery school," Gladys answered and Sam had to fight against coughing as chicken slid down his windpipe.

"Pardon?"

"The nursery school I used to teach at," Gladys repeated. "One of my students was kidnapped and the Guv and his former DI were sent out to investigate it. Messy business, stolen on his way to school. Mother left him at the playground entrance, just a short walk into the school. Never made it into the classroom though. Disappeared somewhere between that gate and the door 200 feet away."

"Did the Guv find him?" Sam asked.

"No, well yes. About a week later they found him underneath a bridge just outside town. Been abused, that sort of thing. Gene went crazy trying to solve that case. Had Detectives at the school all the time, came by every day to ask if we’d seen anything suspicious, if anything had come to mind. Two more children came up missing from other schools nearby and it almost broke Gene’s heart. Took him almost two months to solve that case."

"He solved it then?"

"Yeah," Gladys answered softly. "Turned out to be a handy man that had been helping repair the playground equipment at each of the schools. Gene arrested him and made sure he went to jail for a very long time. Showed up on my doorstep two days later with a bouquet of floors and announced he was taking me to dinner in celebration. Been together pretty much ever since."

"Pretty much?" Sam caught the hesitation in her voice.

"That gets us into the scandal I’m sure you’ve heard so much about Sam. Gene didn’t tell me he was married. I mean I suspected and all but he never came straight out and said so. Until him and Dorothy tried to make it work. Cut back on the long nights, quit going to the pub and started going home to her. Surprised them both to find out they had nothing to say to each other staring across the dinner table night after night. Lasted a grand total of two weeks before she packed her bags, moved to her mothers and filed for divorce. Gene and I got married a year later."

"So you quit teaching to marry Gene Hunt."

"No," Gladys shrugged. "I was fired from teaching because Dorothy Hunt filed a complaint that I was unfit to be around children for having an affair with a married copper. Seems it broke the morality clause in my teaching contract."

"I’m sorry," Sam said sympathetically. "That must have been hard."

"I’m not," Gladys smiled as she laid a fiver on the table to pay the bill. "My Genie’s a good man. He’s worth it. So are you Sam Tyler. You just have to make Annie Cartwright realize it as well."

"So what was your name before you became Gladys Hunt then? What did your students call you?"

"Miss Foster," Gladys smiled. "Except in that last class I had one little boy. Couldn’t make the sounds right. Kept calling me,"

"Miss Fester," Sam broke in and stared at her.

"Right! How did you know?"

"Just a guess," Sam smiled back to cover his momentary lapse. He couldn’t believe this. It made sense really. He’d met his mother, his father, his aunt, his former mentor. Why shouldn’t he meet his favorite teacher? His first school boy crush? The question really was - how did the goddess from his childhood fantasies, the woman who used to ruffle his hair and kiss his scraped knees and elbows after playground fights, Miss Foster. The Miss Foster. How did she end up married to Gene Hunt?


	5. Chapter Five

"Guv," Sam looked over from his place in the Barcalounger to the man currently dozing on the sofa.

"Huh?" The Guv responded as he shifted his eyes away from the television.

"Shouldn’t we start the roast for Mrs. Hunt since she’s taken your mother to church?"

"Why would we do that?" The Guv asked. "Gladys will do it when she gets back. Roast is already made up so all she’ll do is pop it in the oven."

"I know it’s already made up," Sam explained. "That’s why I thought we should pop it in the oven for her and save the trouble. We’re here and she’s not. It would be the considerate thing to do."

"You do that then Tyler," the Guv announced as he squirmed into a more comfortable position on the couch. "I’ll be staying right here watching John Wayne."

Sam just rolled his eyes. What had he expected really? Gene Hunt to be sensitive and considerate to his wife? To appreciate her? He stood up and made his way into the kitchen. How could he have expected Gene to appreciate someone as special as Miss Foster? Mrs. Hunt, he corrected himself automatically. She wasn’t Miss Foster his nursery school teacher anymore and he wasn’t a four year old with a lisp and a puppy dog crush. She was Mrs. Hunt now, wife of his Guv - DCI Gene Hunt, and he was Sam Tyler from Hyde, the Guv’s brainiac DI and personal punching bag.

Gladys, Sam’s toes curled at the intimacy of using her first name, had left everything in the fridge, ready to be popped in the oven once she’d returned. Sam set it to preheat and began pulling out the various elements of their Sunday dinner. Soon he had the roast in the oven, vegetables simmering on the burners and a salad made up. He was just finishing setting the table as the phenomenon known as Mrs. Hunt, the Guv’s mother, came storming through the door.

"There’s my Gene," Sam heard an abrasive voice call out and cringed. "What’s that smell? Did you leave that roast cooking while we were at church you lazy sow? It will be tough by the time we eat."

Time to intervene, Sam thought as he stepped into the parlour. "Actually I just started dinner. I was trying to be considerate and thought I’d help Mrs. Hunt out."

"Who’s this then?" The wiry, iron haired lady in large spectacles asked as she swung at Sam with her cane. Turning she glared at Gladys. "Bringing your boyfriends home to stay now you tart?"

Sam raised his eyebrows at the Guv. Was he really going to allow his mother to treat Gladys this way? "I’m DI Tyler Mrs. Hunt. I work for your son. They’re doing some repairs on my flat and he invited me to stay."

"Oh!" The old lady glared at him. "DI Tyler, the poofter from Hyde! No worries then, from what I’ve heard you’d be much more interested in wearing that one’s knickers then getting in them."

Sam bit his lip to prevent a retort and could see Gladys flushed with embarrassment at the old lady’s remark. When she rolled her eyes dramatically Sam tried not to laugh. The effort was breaking him though.

"I’ll just go check on dinner," Gladys said abruptly.

"Come on then Mum," Gene broke in. "Why don’t we go sit down and you can tell me about the service. That’ll leave Gladys room to cook and Tyler here can work on his flower arranging."

"That new Vicar is an idiot," Mrs. Hunt announced as Gene led her away. "I don’t know why your wife insists on taking me to that church to listen to an idiot ramble. Dorothy wouldn’t have subjected me to that."

"Mum, you’ve been going to that church since you were a little girl," Gene insisted.

"The Vicar then weren’t an idiot," he heard her snap. "Dorothy would have taken me to the Church where a good Vicar was. I liked that Scottish bloke we had. He was a good sort once you learned how to understand what he was saying. Don’t know why we got this one now."

"Mum," Sam heard Gene sigh. "Reverend Frasier died. You can’t expect them not to replace him."

"Damned inconsiderate if you ask me," she huffed and Sam bit his lip. Now he knew where the Guv got it from.

Suddenly Gladys’ head popped through the swinging door from the kitchen. "Damned inconsiderate of an 80 year old man to up and die with no notice if you ask me!" She mimicked and Sam couldn’t hold in the laugh that escaped at her impersonation.

He would have kept laughing at the irony of the situation if Gladys hadn’t swayed alarmingly then. Rushing over he grabbed her to help her keep her feet. "Whoa! Let’s sit you down."

"Sorry," she said distractedly and Sam noticed the faint sheen on her forehead and the way she absently touched her stomach. "Must be the heat in that kitchen. The oven gets going and you know."

"Sure," Sam agreed to the lie. "Let me get you a glass of water."

When he returned, she looked a little better and he watched as she slowly sipped the water. "So when do you plan on telling the Guv?"

"Have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to find out if everything is ok. Thought I’d tell him after."

"You don’t want him to go along?"

"Gene?" She laughed. "My Gene? In the maternity ward?"

"Shouldn’t go by yourself," Sam countered.

"Who am I going to take? My mother in law?"

"I could go," Sam offered.

"You?"

"Why not? I’ll take you to lunch after. Beats hamburger steak and tapioca with the Guv."

"You don’t mind?"

"Nancy boy like me?" Sam teased. "Nah, us brainiac Hyde poofters love babies."

"Great, 10:30 at the hospital then." Gladys agreed as she stood up and went back into the kitchen. Turning she looked back at Sam.

"Don’t worry," he reassured her. "Your secret is safe with me."


	6. Chapter Six

"Where’s Tyler?" Gene shouted irritably. It was a quiet day, Gene had just now decided to come out of his office and he wanted lunch. Better if he had Tyler with him, then he didn’t have to worry about the man cleaning CID while he was gone.

"Said he had an appointment Guv," Chris broke in from his desk. "Didn’t say where. Said he’d be back around 1."

"Well aren’t you just a good little secretary then Chris," Gene sneered. He looked over at Annie Cartwright and saw that she had a sour expression on her face. Obviously Tyler hadn’t told her where he was going either. Serves her right for keeping the boy on the line like she had, Gene thought uncharitably.

"Right Guv," Chris dropped his head and blushed.

"Anyway," Gene answered. "Since the scum of Manchester has decided to give us a break today. I’m going home and having myself lunch with the Missus. Taking a radio along so if something happens you can reach me. If nothing happens don’t call. Raymondo you’re in charge until Tyler gets back."

"Right Guv," Ray agreed and Chris and Annie nodded.

Good, Gene thought. Let Tyler have his appointment. That just meant Gene could go home and do something he’d been putting off for five days. His Gladys was a shy woman and anytime he’d done more than kiss her cheek in the past five days she’d swatted at him and made hand motions at the wall they shared with the guest room. Gene couldn’t understand her problem. It wasn’t like Tyler had virgin ears after all did he? She was shy though and that had meant little Gene had been kept determinedly in his place.

But now, Gene chuckled to himself. Tyler wasn’t here. Tyler was at an appointment. Gene was here and so was, he stopped as he pushed on the door handle. Gladys wasn’t here. The door was locked. Opening it with his key he looked around. Her purse and coat were gone, she wasn’t just out for a walk then or in the back garden. She’d done the grocery shopping Saturday and she wouldn’t go to his mothers without the car. Where was Gladys?

Suspicion built in Gene’s gut. Gladys was a pretty little wisp of a thing. Soft curves in all the right places and big green eyes. Pair them up with those blonde curls and pink lips of hers and she’d make a Vicar think indecent thoughts, Gene reminded himself. If a Vicar was thinking about bending her over the desk what would his DI be thinking? As much as Gene teased him he knew Tyler had a thing for women. Good with them too, could charm the knickers off a nun with a little effort. His Gladys was just 30 this past spring and Tyler was how old? Thirty three? Thirty four? Almost the same age. Suddenly Gene felt very old as he slumped toward the Cortina. Here he was in his fifties with a wisp of a girl for a missus and a DI that looked like an angel who was trying to seduce her. That fancy pantsed, brainiac from Hyde had outdone him again. It wasn’t enough to take over his cases, Gene thought, undermine him in front of the team. No, no Sam Tyler had to go and steal his wife as well.


	7. Chapter Seven

Sam stared at the Guv as the man poured another shot down his throat. The Guv had been tense since yesterday afternoon. When Sam had gotten back from Gladys appointment he’d been on a tear and even Ray was keeping his distance. Silently, Sam sent up a prayer of thanks that no one was waiting in the Lost and Found. God knows what Gene would have done if he could have gotten his hands on somebody. He had expected Gene to be glad when he’d gotten the call today that his flat had been repaired and he could move back in tonight. Instead the other man had just grunted. 

Sam stared across the desk at him. He’d gotten pissed in the pub last night and Gladys had decided, wisely Sam thought, to wait until he was sober to tell him the good news. Sam thought it would help that he wouldn’t be underfoot either. Give them some privacy to celebrate.

"Guv," Sam started.

"What Tyler?" The Guv growled irritably.

"The others are knocking off for the day. Heading down to the pub. You coming?"

"I reckon I will Tyler."

"Maybe you should go home instead tonight Guv. Spend some time with Gladys now that you’ve got your house back."

"Gladys," Gene repeated. "Right. Privacy."

"Yeah Guv," Sam repeated and tried to mentally prod the other man into some sort of comprehension. "You’ve got your house back. I’ll get my stuff tomorrow. Why don’t you go home and spend time with Gladys?"

"Your stuff," Gene repeated and took another swig.

"Yeah, I’ll get it tomorrow." Sam repeated.

"Don’t know why you don’t leave it Sammy boy," Gene sneered. "Seems like you’ve made yourself plenty at home in my house."

"What are you talking about Guv?" Sam asked as his angry DCI stood up and placed his hands on the desk, leaning menacingly toward Sam.

"Seems you made yourself right at home Sam. Living in my house, eating my food, snuggling up to my wife."

"Snuggling up to your wife?" Sam repeated and sudden realization filled him with horror. The Guv thought he’d been trying to seduce Gladys!

"Don’t know which one of you I ought to strangle first," Gene said irritably. "My loving wife or you Tyler, my devoted DI. Since you’re here I guess I’ll smack you around a bit and then go home and have a talking to with Gladys."

A talking to with Gladys? Sam thought. That didn’t sound good. "Now wait a second Guv," he started. "You’re putting two and two together and getting five. You don’t need to be going home and upsetting Gladys. Let’s just sort this out between the two of us."

"Sort this out between the two of us?" Gene repeated as he grabbed Sam by the collar and pressed him against the filing cabinet. "Don’t upset Gladys? Well aren’t you the gentleman? Worrying about me upsetting the little tart."

"She’s not a tart!" Sam argued as he pressed his hands against the Guv’s shirt and pushed. "And you shouldn’t upset her."

"Why ever not then Tyler? You don’t think your little affair has upset me just a bit?"

"You shouldn’t be upsetting her in her condition!" Sam yelled angrily and the Guv froze.

"Her condition?" He repeated and punched Sam squarely in the jaw. "You work fast Tyler. Barely known her a week and now she’s got a condition to worry about."

"Don’t be an idiot Gene," Sam snapped from his place on the floor. "You stupid Neanderthal! Your wife and I aren’t having an affair. It’s not my baby she’s having you dolt it’s yours!"

"What?" Gene sat abruptly on the edge of his desk as his knees gave out.

"She didn’t want to tell you until after her doctor’s appointment yesterday. Wanted to make sure everything was ok first. Then you came home drunk from the pub and she wanted to wait until you were sober. That’s why I was trying to get you to skip the pub and go home to Gladys."

"Gladys is pregnant?" Gene repeated. "My Gladys is pregnant?"

"Yes you dolt," Sam agreed as he finished wiping the blood from his lip. "Gladys is pregnant. She found out for certain yesterday. Didn’t think she should go to the hospital alone and she didn’t want you to know until she was certain so that’s where I was yesterday. Congratulations Guv, you’re going to be a father."

"I’m going to be a father?" The Guv repeated.

"That is generally what happens when you get a woman pregnant yes," Sam agreed. "You are going to be a father."

"I’m going to be a father!" Gene yelled excitedly and pulled him into an enthusiastic but still manly hug.

"Congrats Guv," Sam repeated. "Now go home and spend some time with that wife of yours."

"Right," the Guv agreed. "Go home and spend time with the missus." Sam only smiled as the other man ran his fingers through his hair. "I’m going to be a father," the Guv murmured again to himself. "Should I buy her something? A present?"

"I’d try flowers Guv," Sam suggested. "Maybe dinner."

8 months later

The mood inside the pub was tense. Nelson absently wiped off tables and the bar as Chris and Ray sat peering into their drinks as Annie and Phyllis took turns looking at their watches. The television on the wall had turned to static and no one had moved to adjust the antenna or switch it off.

Outside there was a squeal of tires and then the crash of something hitting a rubbish bin just before a cat let out a yelp. Everyone continued to stare into their drinks nervously until the door to the pub flew open and Sam came rushing in.

"It’s a boy!" Sam announced loudly and the others cheered. "Gene Hunt Jr."

"How is the Guv’s wife doing?" Phyllis asked over the cheering men as Nelson poured out shots.

"Good, good." Sam answered with a smile. "The Doctor said her and the baby are fine."

"How’s the Guv doing?" Annie smiled. "Is he on cloud nine?"

"I think he will be," Sam smiled back and took his drink from Nelson. "As soon as they’re done stitching up the cut on his head and the doctor says he doesn’t have a concussion."

"A concussion?" Chris asked blankly. "How did the Guv get a concussion?"

"He was in the delivery room with Gladys," Sam chuckled, "And apparently passed out about half way through. Cracked his head on the side of the bed. Missed the actual delivery."

"So you got to be there when she had the baby?" Annie asked. "Got to hold him first then. The Guv’s going to be mad at you."

"Course not," Sam answered. "I was too busy downstairs, pinning the Guv down so they could give him stitches. Took three of us to do it. He kept insisting he was fine and they kept insisting that he was not going back into that room until his head had quit bleeding. Got a bit ugly there for a while. Had to handcuff him down and everything."

"You did uncuff him before you left right?" Phyllis asked suddenly, eyes wide.

Sam looked over at her slowly and the whole bar fell silent again. His mouth worked through several responses but no sound came out as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the handcuff keys.

"Oh holy shit," Sam muttered as he dropped his drink and raced back out of the Railway Arms. "I thought he was going to kill me for scratching the Cortina. Now my ass is toast." From inside he could hear the roar of laughter.


End file.
